How To Be a Better Speaker In Conversations
Um... why do we say so many unnecessary words, you know?
There are many unnecessary or overused words (if we can call them words) we say: uh, just, like, because, really. Some people converse almost exclusively with just these words. Imagine how society could be polished if we would become able to maintain a conversation in an eloquent and sophisticated yet practical and concise way.
I created a handy acronym to help me remember how to be a better speaker: T.A.L.K.
Take out
If we are going to become better speakers in conversations, we must first cut out those unnecessary words. Instead of saying uh or another similar word, close your mouth and take a breath.
Analyze
Next, think and speak methodically. Think before you open your mouth. I find I say almost no insults and few harsh words when I consciously think about my words. Never launch into a story without first considering if the other person will want to hear it.
Stay on-topic to show the other person that you are paying attention to the conversation. If necessary, politely shift the conversation to a different topic, but, in ordinary instances, shift topics without being abrupt or rude.
Listen
Speak less by listening more. Do not indulge in excessive conversation. It’s meaningless and pointless. Do not waste your breath. When you do speak, always make it count. There will be pauses, but that is all right. Almost all natural, non-awkward conversations have normal pauses.
Keep it going
Ask sincere questions. Although some conversations are naturally shallow, other conversations are better when prodded into deep subjects.
Bonus: Fifteen Replacement Words Everyone Should Use to Spice up a Conversation (Even if a thesaurus is needed)*
Thus (instead of so)
Yet (instead of but)
For (instead of and)
Ponder (“I had not pondered that before.”)
Accomplished (“What have you accomplished today?”)
Purpose (Instead of “you know what I mean?” use “do you understand my purpose?”)
Engaged (since busy has become overused)
Intriguing (instead of interesting)
Swell (instead of good, great, or fine)
Magnificent (instead of awesome or cool)
Ambivalent (instead of fine or okay)
Well (replace “I am good” with “I am doing well’’)
Humorous (sounds more dignified than funny and hilarious)
Specify (instead of asking general questions, one could ask, “Can you specify your opinion?”)
Truly (Really, stop using really.)
*Do not intentionally overuse these. Use these formal words at your own risk.